I personally love meeting new people as long as they have something to contribute in expanding my views on different matters. Despite the restrictions that were in place on travelling, I still managed to meet quite a lot of new faces in my life. Some are expected as I started a new career, some are old friends who I have not seen for ages and a handful are total strangers that strike up a conversation with me.
Despite how people say technology keeps us apart, I find it somewhat comforting that it works the opposite way for me. I met new people online
The preceding paragraph was written by me in 2021. It is now almost September 2023. I have met more strangers and befriended quite a lot of people along the way. I have said quite a few goodbyes, and I always hated that feeling. Things come and go, and I cannot control that. Despite all my attempts to say that I should not worry about the things that I cannot control; in truth, I do wish that I could’ve done better. I miss the people who are no longer in my life, I wish I could say just a bit more but even if I did, I doubt it will do any good. I am a bit burnt out from my day job and it seems that it’s harder for me to look forward to going to work nowadays. I am writing because I just had a weird attack where my breathing was shallow and I guess I’m just trying to make sense of things right now.
I have a friend who made it out of the country and manged to migrate out. Maybe I should hit her up and help me to get a fresh start somewhere else, with a new identity. Starting new will be good but I’m pretty sure my ghosts and the past mistakes will still haunt me. I might as well do the best with what is given to me here.
I think my mind is still messy, I thought it would be clearer once I post things but this post turned out to be as messy as my mind. Quite a disorganized one.
I had a few highlights these past few weeks though, made a friend who I can party with and share what is bothering us. Although I know this won’t last long, I’m thankful for this encounter because in this moment in time, I appreciate your presence.
Looking back at the paragraph written in 2021; I have now stopped making friends online, no idea why but I just stopped making friends online. People just introduced themselves to me in real life which is pretty interesting because at this moment in my life, I do not want to be approached. I guess the universe works in a strange way which I cannot fathom and maybe God is just showing me all the lives that I have touched.
A friend asked me how I was doing and I can’t even say how I feel. I just don’t have the words to describe how I feel or to put it into my perspective; I don’t even know what I am feeling. I just want to watch sunsets and ride my motorcycle. I don’t have things figured out but I don’t have to figure it out right now because I don’t know the answer or I don’t even know what the question is. All I know is that I will face things day by day, keeping moving forward like I always do. I don’t think I will do great things but I will do the small things with love as I always do. I will listen with all my heart and I will be back again.
Until then,
Exploration Cycles 