Table for Two

My worst fear ever other than death is losing that one person. In fact, it is not the fear of losing that one person; rather the fear of never finding someone who can love you like she did, understand you like she did, comfort you like she did… there can never be another one. I fell in love and the love is the kind of love where you felt that she is your soulmate. I fell in love with the most beautiful girl who despite had showed me her pains and struggles, made me fell even deeper.

Whenever I go out, it’s always a table for two. Even when I’m alone, it’s a table for two as I carry your heart in my heart. You made my heart felt happy, sad, joyful, pain, passionate, loving, loved and most of all, alive. I have never loved anyone as much as I have and the fact that I am fearlessly writing my feelings in a public space like never before speaks volume about the love that I have. I still think about everyday, even back then when we were apart; you’ve never left. When I dream, I dreamt that I was in love and my dream is a reality. You made me want to be better, you made me have a sense of direction, you gave me a ray of sunshine in this otherwise bleak and confusing world.

When I love
I feel that I am the king of time
I possess the earth and everything on it
and ride into the sun upon my horse.

When I love
I become liquid light
invisible to the eye
and the poems in my notebooks
become fields of mimosa and poppy.

When I love
the water gushes from my fingers
grass grows on my tongue
when I love
I become time outside all time.

When I love a woman
all the trees
run barefoot toward me…

Nizar Qabbani

Did fate brought us together again? If so can we make this work? I’ll damn all the things that tries to keep us apart. You will know on my side I’ll love fearlessly and will never give up. If this life doesn’t give us a chance, then I pray to God to give us a better chance again be it in this life or the next and whatever may come after.

Yours,
Sincerely,
& Forever.

Things are looking up, finally.

Where do I begin? It was the sweetest hello after goodbye that was said. After that hello, things just got better. Have you ever had someone who came into your life and changed the way how you see things? In my case, there’s this girl who came out of nowhere, without mutual friends or even any connections in the past just came into my life. It felt surreal how my perspective in life was changed for the better, like seeing with own eyes for the first time. She’s back and I couldn’t be happier. The same thing happened this time around, made me improved my life and do things for the better; I found myself doing things that I loved with more meaning and purpose, I found myself trying to be better. Sometimes I do wonder how would my life be if she didn’t came into my life. But that’s a useless thought because things couldn’t be better now. I couldn’t even write properly in this post because of how happy and content I am. This blog used to be my outlet to deal with my very noisy inner thoughts but it seems that they have quiet down after all these things happening in my life. Maybe it’s time for me to shift this blog to be an appreciative blog where I can appreciate the things in my life. That’s a thought and let’s see how that will go.

I don’t have much to say other than I am the healthiest and happiest I have ever been in a long time. Thanks to those who wished me happiness, it seems that my happiness has manifested thanks to the good things you all did to me. I couldn’t tell you how much I appreciate the good thoughts and kind words and it seems like this post is now an apperciation post!

Until then,