This blog has been quiet recently and it has been a while since the last post and I do feel like I have did nothing of significance this year thus far. In reality if I look back, I have did a lot of significant thing and has been producing a lot of outcome worthy of a few academic papers. Could it be an impostor syndrome? Who knows, I am certainly not versed well enough to make deductions on these psychological traits or whatever it’s called. All I know is rocks and geochemistry but I think it’s about time I change that.
Embarking on learning a new skill is never easy but I always tell myself it’s difficult because I have not practiced enough or is simply too unfamiliar with these new things. I need to take it one day at a time before I get good, after all everyone starts somewhere. People might see me as this petrologist who turned basin analyst and structural geology overnight but the effort I made to learn these subjects and late night readings and watching endless sandbox videos was not seen. Interestingly I also tend to forget all the efforts that I made to be good at something, maybe this is part of the imposter syndrome I mentioned earlier. Regardless, I’ll still make the effort to learn new things. This basin analyst/structural geology turned petrologist is planning to learn coding! Specifically Python language because apparently it is one of the most common language of coding other than Javascript and C. How will I fare? Let’s check back at the end of the year shall we.
Hey since this post somehow gravitates towards psychological issues, I’ll open up to the ones that I might have and it was undiagnosed. I do know for a fact that I have a mild case of OCD of which I found out after watching a video of a toddler having a tantrum (he was diagnosed with OCD) and how the mother handled him. All these time I thought I was weird at how upset at I get when things were not…. hmmm I cannot seem to find the right word to describe the things that made me upset. Let’s me describe it as I have a mind that tells me to do things that way or I have to do it otherwise it would cause me a great deal of discomfort and distress. Anyway I felt better after watching that video knowing that I am not alone because I don’t know anyone that has OCD and I’m afraid if I open up people will make fun of me about how I am obsessed about making things symmetrical (which is untrue for me). But that is slowly changing as I am opening up to a few people about this (including you!) although some people make fun of me when I told them about that, I always follow it up with an educational what it is and how it is different for every person i.e it’s a spectrum. I am happy that there has been a push about mental health awareness but somehow I hope they also raised awareness about people like me. But hey it has to start somewhere and the people who have been pushing this issue to the mainstream media deserves more than a round of applause!
It takes guts… and heart to admit there’s something wrong with you and to accept that fact. But it also makes you who you are and even though you struggle sometimes, you’re not alone and we (me and the other kids who struggles with these issues) face the same thing together but to a different degree for each and one of us. If you need help, reach out but I know that’s not as easy as it sounds but have courage (I would link these to psalms but I’ll spare you my religious beliefs).
Bet you didn’t expect me to open up about my mental health to you eh? Well surprise! Neither did I honestly but whoever stumbles across this blog or the person I gave the link to this blog, I trust you enough. I’ll try to write about something more cheerful next time but no promises! Hmm maybe I’ll write about my search for the perfect grind size distribution of my coffee beans and how it greatly correlates with my aeropress flavour but that is already a well known fact and I can simply sum it up in a sentence; I got a Wilfa Svart Aroma grinder my my cup of coffee tastes magical. Don’t worry, I’ll write up something worth reading when the time comes.
Until then,
Exploration Cycles 